Intermission

Yesterday marked the 50th cover letter that i have written in the span of 3 months. Being unemployed really sucks. It's like i'm here nor there. The transitional period is bad, real bad.

In the beginning of the semester, tutors will do the usual introduction and everyone had to share what would they like to be doing now. Touring the world, making big bucks etc were common. I reckon mine is: I wished that i had graduated (which i have :) ), owned a large house with a husband who adores me and kids that are simply obedient. Hmmm... i would have it all isn't it?

My point is basically this: Don't you just wished skipping all the decision makings and just be there? This analogy really sticks out. Remember DONKEY from Shrek 2? When Shrek, donkey and Princess Fiona were travelling to meet her parents, Donkey had this irritating Eddie Murphy drawl in him and said billiions of times: ARE WE THERE YET? ARE WE THERE YET? My gosh!!! That's just exactly how i feel! Can't i just be there now? I wouldn't have the hassle of going through all these decision makings. I wouldn't have to think, is this the job for me? Is he the one? How many kids should i have? (ideally, i would love 5! that is if i can afford it!) And the BIG question: Am i walking in my destiny? All these decisions are killing me! I wished i didn't have to grow up.

But God has revealed to me much during this process. Just look at Joseph's life. As you all know, Joseph didn't immediately rise up to be the PM of Egypt. He was cast out by his brothers, accused of adultery and when you think life couldn't be any worse, he was thrown into prison. But he chose to put on the garments of PRAISE. Can you imagine if God were to put Joseph in a position of leadership immediately? Joseph was big-headed. I mean this is HUGE-headed! Who in his right mind would tell his 11 older brothers that all of them will bow down to him? During the process, he learned wisdom, discernment and above all, humility. God in His own good and perfect timing, raised him into leadership. And true enough, his brothers did bow. And you all know the rest is history.

So i have taken hope and courage in this revelation. For all of you out there who identifies with me, hang on and press on! You can do it!

Currently listening to: I Believe in You by Steven Curtis Chapman.

*brilliant lyrics*

Lovely autumn

What's left of the lovely autumn? Before the winter chill hits you in the bones! Anyway... shall not complain but savor every moment of it.

Spent 6 hours with a person that i just met today, had a fantastic time! Ever thought of "matchmade in heaven"?

p/s Alas... had my durian... the lovely King of all fruits!

Currently listening to: Soundtrack of Finding Neverland

Switching restaurants!

A powerful, convicting message today at church. How the devil has just quietly, silently glide his way through to my life and taken captive of my mind. No more am i going to entertain him, no more am i going to order anything from him! Lust, unforgiveness, pride, negativity - all out the window! Never to come back...

I'm going to dine in the restaurant that brings life, love, patience, peace, eternal life. These will be my a la carte for the rest of my life.

I'm switching. I had a revelation.

What about you?

Currently listening to: Look To You by United Live

p/s Difference between a revelation and knowledge:
Knowledge: something that you know about
Revelation: something that you know and will motivate you!

Oh durian!

I'm craving durians... And i don't mean the durian flavoured gelati but real durians.

Steps to having a satisfactory "encounter" with your durian.

1) Pick up the durian fruit with your fingers. And i mean your fingers! I met a friend today who eats her durian using a porcelain spoon! U have no idea what you're missing!

2) Then pop it into your mouth! That's the way i eat them. Though there's a high risk of me choking on my fruit. But i have been eating this way since i could remember and i'm still alive! :)

3) Just before you wash your hands, try sucking your durian-filled fingers. Making sure that there really are no trace of durians left anywhere. Yum!

4) To end it all, finish off with a sip of salt water using the skin of the durian as a "cup".

Oh durian! durian! When will i see you again?

Whatever will be will be...

Just came back from a shopping spree with G. She bought 2 tee-shirts from Giordano claiming them as the "foundation" of her winter wardrobe. I'm not to be left out too, I bought a 3/4 sleeves "aussie" shirt as we Asian like to call them. We love shopping! I mean I love it! But is it what i really need?

By the age of 10 most children, primed by adverts and peer pressure, already enjoy shopping. This is obviously prevalent amongst your women. An overwhelming 94% of girls aged 10-19 admitted their passion for a trip to the shops. Apparently some of the reasons were to release stress, to look out for the current fashion etc.

I for one, am a human being and will always judge others that they buy things unnecessarily - but when it comes to my own trips to the shops, i simply can't stop myself too. I might not have a thing for clothes or shoes or bags. But when it comes to cds, ipod accessories and books. I'm a lost sheep.

Why do we buy the things we buy? I watched Oprah once, she was interviewing this lady who had a compulsive behavior for shopping. She would work hard and spent all her money on bags, clothes, shoes and God knows what else, just so that she could feel "beautiful". The world has stolen the concept of beauty from it's original meaning. Who cares what you are inside? First impressions are made with your outfit, your makeup.

A survey was made on working women. If you are dressed or look more attractive than your colleagues, you would have a higher opportunity than your colleagues of being promoted. In fact if I remember correctly, it's a 25% chance.

Many women struggle with issues of insecurities. I was just speaking to one today. And it hurts me so to witness that. To all your girlies out there, you are made in His image, you are fearfully and wonderfully made!

Currently listening to: 89.9 Light FM

Apology accepted?

Amids tensions over the approval of school textbooks, at the Asian-African Summit held in Indonesia, Japanese Prime Minister, Junichiro Koizumi said:

"In the past Japan through its colonial rule and aggression caused tremendous damage and suffering for the people of many countries, particularly those of Asian nations. Japan squarely faces these facts of history in a spirit of humility."

Humble - showing deferential or submissive respect, low in rank, quality, or station; unpretentious or lowly, marked by meekness or modesty in behavior, not arrogant or prideful.

If my grandparent's generation read this, which I believe they will as soon as they get their hands on "Nan Yang Xiang Pao" tomorrow, they would probably be cursing. Trust me, they have gone through excrutiating pain during the World War. I wouldn't use the word excrutiating unless i really had to. Yes, Japan had acted brutally, heartlessly, inhumanly, mercilessly. Their barbaric behavior has caused nations to turn against each other. Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Kong Quan, said that Japan had to do more to "face up to history".

Now, a powerhouse internationally. Advanced, developed. Japan now asks for the forgiveness of the numerous nations in Asia. Will they accept it?

I reckon, we should just forgive and forget. Get over it and get on with life! Life's too short to hold on to stuff. Yeah, of course I can say this flippantly because I wasn't under the direct torture of their hands. I didn't understand and will never understand (hopefully).

Honestly, label me immature or childish. Not meaning to belittle what has happened during the 40's. The 3 years of torture and havoc must be an experience way beyond anyone's imagination. It's something that we, the next generation will never understand how our gramps fought for our freedom or struggled for survival.

We have our own issues. Be it huge or small, unforgiveness is something that all of us struggle with. Recently, i have been struggling with a bait of unforgiveness. Until someone reminded me that if i do not forgive and forget, I really can't fully get on with life and live my destiny. Perhaps i will never be able to forgive the Japs if I were in my granparents' shoes, but hey! Thank God, I'm not them! So i'll just do my bit of forgiving and move on...

Jesus forgave and forget. He did both.

Currently listening to: Butterflies by Norah Jones.

Staying true

Should have said this earlier... Stay tuned for my ancedotes on life in my world.

HOME

Let's talk about being homesick. I just met a friend today who's completely missing home. Surprisingly, she said something about missing her church back home because of us. And it brought back heaps of memories on my part... I came to Australia not wanting to be a mediocre person. To achieve the unimaginable, to conquer the world! Well maybe not.. But we'll leave that to God. But mediocrity waw never in my vocabulary.

The biggest highlight in my life wasn't my 3 years of labour at uni but rather the person that i am right now. After uni, i leave with a fitting paper trail of accolades that I'm sure will have no further purpose beyond the resumes. I might find myself armed with enough tit bits of information to be a somewhat engaging conversationist. But i know that i have achieved much, i have persevered much, i have toiled much... and the reward will always be HOME... Home is where the prize is...

Anyway, i better be calling home now...

Contradicting myself? It's all a mess now!

Currently listening to: what else? Homesick by Mercy Me